


Fragile Connections

by LilyK



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 06:51:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/795096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyK/pseuds/LilyK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes the only connection between you and the person you love is the telephone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fragile Connections

A big thanks to Double R for the great beta job. 

Be warned that I was in an extremely romantic mood when I wrote this. 

* * *

Day Seven and Counting-- 

Detective James Ellison was pacing the living room floor. Actually, he had switched from pacing to sitting in front of the TV and channel surfing, to going out on the balcony and drinking a beer, and then back to pacing. He finally gave up trying to relax. It just wasn't working. What had brought on this un-Ellison-like behavior? Well, it had all started about eight months ago, when he had discovered that he was in love. Deeply, passionately, and totally in love. And in those eight months they had not been separated by more than a few hours. 244 days and not one night spent apart. He knew exactly how many days (and nights); he had counted. 

Jim was restless, unsettled, lonely, and very ticked off at himself for not being able to control his feelings. Until he had admitted to himself that he was in love with his partner, Detective Blair Sandburg, he had always been able to control his feelings. He had prided himself on his ability to not only master his emotions, but to ignore or repress them most of the time. Until Blair. Until his entire world had been turned upside down. Everything he had thought he had known about love had been wrong, 100%. 

He switched from pacing to cleaning. After four hours, Jim ran out of things to clean. The loft was so clean it could have passed inspection by the toughest drill sergeant. What the hell was he going to do for another six days? Maybe he should repaint the walls. Or refinish the floors. Oh, hell, maybe he should just shoot himself now. He was worse than a sixteen-year-old whose first lover hadn't called in two hours. But he wasn't sixteen, he was a mature guy; he should be able to control himself. He had picked up the telephone at least twenty times to make sure there was a dial tone; that the line wasn't out of order. 

The jangling of the telephone startled him out of his reverie. He dove for the cordless sitting on the edge of the kitchen counter. He misjudged the position of the pillar situated at the end of the counter, smacking his elbow right on his funny bone. Sharp tingles coursed down his arm into his fingers. He swore at himself while grabbing the phone with his other hand. 

"Ellison." He snapped; his arm hurt! 

Blair's concerned voice touched Jim's ears. "Jim, it's Blair. Are you okay?" 

Jim did his best to sound casual. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just whacked my arm reaching for the phone." 

Blair didn't fall for the casual bit for a second. "I'm sorry I couldn't call sooner. You know Naomi. One thing led to another, and we're just getting settled in, so I finally got to a phone. I tried my cell, but the battery is dead, so I had to wait until I could get away and found a pay-phone. 

"Blair, that's okay. I just got home anyway. I would have missed you if you had called earlier. I went with the guys for a beer." Jim shook his head. Man, he was lying through his teeth. What was wrong with him? "Just tell Blair you miss him." What was "wrong" with him? He knew exactly what was wrong, or right, depending on his point of view, emotional situation, time of day, alignment of the planets, whatever!! 

Blair was talking, but Jim had missed every word, since he was busy arguing with himself. "Jim? Jim?" 

"Sorry, Chief. What did you say? No, wait. I, ah, I didn't go anywhere. I was lying. I've been up all night, pacing the floor, and cleaning. I cleaned everything I could find. I can't sleep when you're not here. I can't think straight. I feel really stupid. I can't stop thinking about you. You're too far away." Jim stopped to catch his breath. He could hear Blair's soft breathing through the telephone. 

"Jim, I miss you, too. You'll be okay. Relax. Breathe. Come on, you can do it." Blair spoke quietly and calmly to his Sentinel. He was in Guide mode even when he was a thousand miles away. He always took care of Jim. "Let me hear you breathe. Deep, cleansing breaths." 

Jim followed Blair's instructions. He breathed slowly and deeply several times. "Thanks, Blair. I didn't mean to sound so whiny. I hate when that happens. Sometimes, I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I've never felt so, I don't know, so intense about anyone. I never believed it when I heard people say that they felt physical pain being separated from the person they loved." Jim's voice dropped so low Blair could hardly hear him. "Until now." 

"Jim, I can catch a flight out tomorrow. I can probably be home by..." 

"No!" It came out louder and harsher than he meant. He took another deep breath and exhaled, and managed to speak calmly. "No, please. Don't do that. Your mother needs you. It's only for a week. I'm fine. I just felt out of sorts tonight. Please, Blair, don't come home early. I would feel really guilty." Jim spoke adamantly. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes. I feel much better talking to you. I'm fine, really. Just hearing your voice was what I needed. I can sleep now. In fact, I'm starting to feel tired." 

"If you're sure, then okay. But I'm calling tomorrow to check on you." 

"I'm sure. And please tell your mother I asked about her, and tell her to take care of herself, and Blair...?" Jim took deep breath. 

"Yeah?" 

"I miss you." 

"I miss you too, Jim." 

* * *

Day Six and Counting-- 

"So, Jim, how did it go today? Did you sleep last night?" 

Jim smiled to himself. "Yeah, Blair, I slept. For a while, anyway. I dreamt about you." 

"Gee, Jim, what did you dream?" 

"You don't want me to tell you over the phone, do you? This is a cordless. One of the neighbors might be listening." 

Blair laughed softly. "I don't think we're interesting enough for the neighbors to listen to. Tell me. What did you dream?" 

Jim lay on the sofa and closed his eyes. "You and I were in bed. We were just talking. It was nice and warm and I felt, well, happy. You were telling me about something Simon had said that was funny. And we were laughing. And then you kissed me." 

"That sounds nice. The kissing part." 

"Chief, you're turning me on over the phone. Just listening to your voice turns me on. Actually, everything about you turns me on. I can't help it." 

"Good. I like when I make you feel good. I like making you lose control. I like being on top." 

Jim chuckled quietly. "Stop. You are evil. You're five states away and you're tormenting me." 

Blair laughed. "Jim, I have to go, but tomorrow I'm going to make you... Well, anyway, I'll call tomorrow." 

"How's your mom? I should have asked first thing. I was being selfish, wanting to talk to you." 

"Jim, it's okay. The tests came back this afternoon. The lump was benign. She is still asleep, but I think she'll be awake shortly. Thanks for asking. Jim, I miss you. Bye." 

"Bye. I miss you too." 

* * *

Day Five and Counting-- 

"Hey, Blair. Hello. So first thing, tell me how Naomi is doing. I'm being better about your being gone." 

"Mom is doing great. I get to take her home tomorrow. She should be up and around in a few days. I told her you asked about her, and she said to say hello." 

"That's such good news. I know you are relieved. I want to tell you something. I am really sorry about how I acted that first night. That was mean of me to put you in the position of choosing. I almost made you choose. I'm so sorry." 

When Jim had realized the next day what he had done, he had never been so disappointed in his own behavior. He couldn't believe he would ever put Blair in such a position. He had a lot of making up to do. Whether or not Blair even saw it that way, Jim knew it was true. He was being mean and selfish. He sometimes still felt the need to dominate; to be in charge, to have his way. 

Thank God for Blair. Because of Blair, Jim was learning what it meant to be considerate, to put another person's feelings ahead of his own, to be a partner in a relationship. Hell, he was sure old enough to have learned those sorts of things by now. But before Blair...well, he had never felt the need; not even when he was married. He sure screwed up that relationship big time. He could now admit to himself that he was a cold-hearted bastard to Carolyn. She was smart to divorce him; she deserved better. But this time, this time it was different. Blair was his life. He would not screw up this relationship. Even if it took every last ounce of strength and every breath he had. He would accept nothing less from himself. Blair deserved the best he had to offer. And if Blair was willing to let Jim be in his life, then Jim was grateful. 

And Blair? Well, no one was more understanding than Blair was. Jim wondered why Blair even tolerated his behavior some of the time. Some of the time? A lot of the time. But that was Blair Sandburg. Kind, smart, loyal, caring, devoted. And Jim Ellison was going to be worthy of such a partner if it killed him. In Jim's eyes, Blair was the most beautiful thing that ever walked the face of the earth. Sure, he was cute and cuddly, but to Jim, all Blair's attributes rolled together made him downright beautiful, inside and out. 

Blair somehow sensed Jim's consternation even over the phone lines. He didn't argue. He knew Jim needed to apologize for what Jim felt was a huge transgression. Loyalty was important to Jim, and he expected that trait in himself, too. 

"Thanks, Jim. I appreciate your telling me. I was feeling a little conflicted. It means a lot to know you didn't mean to make me feel almost disloyal to you." 

"Blair, I never meant to make you feel torn. Thank for understanding." Jim bit his lower lip. He had a LOT to make up to Blair for when he got home. "I wish you had told me I was being an asshole." 

"Hey, Jim, you were being an asshole." 

Jim could hear the quiet laughter in Blair's voice. He turned up his hearing, trying to touch Blair's heartbeat over the phone. He had a physical need to touch his lover. Now. He dialed his senses back down. "Behave yourself, Ellison." He admonished himself. 

"Jim, where are you?" 

"I'm in our room. Lying on the bed." 

"What are you wearing?" 

"Blair!" 

"Come on, Jim. What are you wearing?" Blair laughed. 

So did Jim. "Nothing." 

"Oh! That's a great visual." 

"How about you, Blair? What are you wearing?" 

"Jim, I'm in the waiting room at the hospital. What do you think I'm wearing? Jeans, a T-shirt, and a blue jacket. You're being silly. I like it when you're silly. Hey, Jim, close your eyes. Are they closed?" 

"Yeah, they're closed." 

Blair lowered his voice for Sentinel ears. "I'm lying next to you. We're both naked. I am running my hand over your chest and down your stomach and... oh, oops, Jim, someone else needs to use this phone. I can't use my cell until I get a new battery. I haven't had time to go to the store. I'll call you tomorrow, and I'll make sure we have some privacy." 

"Chief, that's teasing. Okay, I'll talk to you tomorrow. I miss you." 

"I miss you, too. Bye." 

* * *

Day Four and Counting-- 

"Hello, Jim. We made it home, and Mom is resting. She's going to be okay. The doctor says two days of rest and she can resume normal activities, barring anything strenuous." 

"Good, Blair. I'm glad things are going well. Did you get your phone fixed? Can we talk?" Jim could hear Blair's quiet chuckling. He loved to hear Blair laugh. It was incredibly sexy. Hell, anything Blair did was incredibly sexy to Jim. After eight months, it was still like the first time. Every day was like the first day. He would never tire of Blair. Every day with him was an adventure; brought contentment, like being home; so many things rolled into one, making such a peaceful place in his heart. Things he never had until Blair had come into his life. And he had never had so much just plain fun. Blair enjoyed life; Jim was learning to, also. 

"Yeah, we can talk. We're alone. I'm sitting outside in the sun. It's nice and warm. I love the sun." 

"What are you wearing?" Jim asked quietly. 

"Ah, let's see. No shoes or socks. No shirt. Those beat-up blue jeans with the knees torn out. They're a size too small for me now. You've made me gain weight. You've got to stop with the cooking." 

"You needed a few pounds. It looks good on you. I like those jeans. They're so old they're soft and hug your body really nicely. Which, by the way, is very nice, if I do say so myself." 

"Well, thanks, Detective. I didn't think you had noticed." 

"Oh, yeah, I noticed. I wish I were there to peel them off you this minute. Slowly. So I could run my hands over..." 

"Jim, don't do this. Man, thanks a lot. Now you've done it. I've got a hard on, and you're a thousand miles away." 

"Well, how the hell do you think I feel? I'm not into self-service these days myself. I want you right now. I want you on top of me, rubbing yourself all over me." 

"Me, too. I want you. Jim, you are a dick. Oh, my God. Hi, Mom... Just talking to Jim... He's fine... Jim, Naomi says hi." 

Jim was on a roll. "Blair, I'm breathing into your ear, sticking my tongue in your ear, biting your ear." 

Blair couldn't help laughing. "Mom, Jim says hi. Oh, he's at the office. Simon is calling him. He's got to go. Jim, I'll talk to you tomorrow." 

"I miss you, Blair." 

"I miss you, too." 

Oh, hell, he said that in front of his mother! Jim's mouth hung open as he thought about that simple statement. Naomi was one observant woman. He wondered what was happening right now between Blair and Naomi. 

* * *

Day Three and Counting-- 

"Hello, Blair. How are you and Naomi doing?" That was a loaded question. Jim was a bit nervous. 

"We're fine. Jim, I mean it. We're fine. All of us. You and I. She knows." 

"Oh, God. Are you okay?" 

"Yes, I'm fine. Everything is fine. As long as you are okay with this. That's what has me worried. I've been up all night." 

"Why? Are you scared? Are you having second thoughts?" Jim could hear Blair's uneven breathing in the receiver. He could tell that Blair was upset and trying to cover it up. "Chief, tell me, what's the matter?" 

"You won't want us to be together any more. What happens if others find out? I know how embarrassed you would be. It would ruin your career. I feel really dumb even bringing it up, but it's your life. It's the most important thing in your life" 

"Blair..." 

"It's okay. Really. Naomi is cool. You know she doesn't care much about other people's private lives. But I got to thinking about what we're doing, you and I. And what could happen to your life. Me, it doesn't much matter. I want you to be happy. I don't want to be the cause of your career being ruined." 

"Shut up, Chief." Jim spoke softly. "It's going to be okay. You're right about one thing. It's our private life. We'll just keep it private like we've been doing. Hell, Blair, we've lived together for five years now. If anyone at the station wondered, they've given up wondering a long time ago. It's not like you just moved in. No one cares. They like you for who you are. And you are a great guy and a super detective." 

"What about you?" 

"Really, think about it. Who at the station would have the balls to make any kind of accusation to me about anything? Just because you know what a loveable fuzzball I am, doesn't mean the others think so. They still see me as a hard-ass ex-military, not-to-be-messed-with cop. Besides, I have enough military and civilian police time accumulated to retire if I want to. I've saved a lot of money. I can walk any time. Blair, things will be okay. You and I, we're more than okay, we're perfect. Got it?" Jim's tone left no room for argument. 

"Yeah, Jim, I got it." Blair sighed; his relief practically flowed into Jim's ears. "You're right. Private is private, and belongs at home." 

"I wish I was there to hold you." 

"Me, too. I miss you." 

"I miss you, too." 

* * *

Day Two and Counting-- 

"Morning, Jim. What's up?" Blair sounded happy. 

Jim smiled, picturing his lover. "Not much. I just got in from a set at the gym. And guess what, it's raining." 

"No. I don't believe it. Raining in Cascade. That I'd have to see." 

"Hey, it could be worse. It could be snowing." 

"Jim, it's July. Lots of rain, a bit of sun, and no snow. That's summer in Cascade." 

"Blair, you sound better today. Are you okay?" 

"Yeah, I'm good. I just can't wait. Tomorrow. I'll be home tomorrow." 

"I'll meet you at the airport. 3 p.m. Right?" Jim was getting happier by the minute. 

"Yup, United, 3 p.m. I can't wait to see you." 

"Me, too. You want to eat out?" 

"No," Blair replied adamantly. 

Jim laughed. "Okay. I'll have something ready to pop in the oven for later. We'll come home." 

"Good, Jim. I just want to come home, and be with you." 

"That's what I want. Just the two of us, alone finally. It seems like such a long time. I'm looking forward to it. It will be just like Christmas." Jim smiled. 

"And you can unwrap the present." Blair laughed. 

"I like the sound of that. Hey, I thought you didn't celebrate Christmas?" 

"It's July, Jim. I can pretend. I think I'll wear something red and green." 

"Speaking of wearing, what are you wearing right now?" 

"I ain't wearing a thing." 

"Really? Where are you?" 

Blair laughed softly into Jim's ear. "I'm in the bathtub, stark naked. I'm languishing in a tub of nice, hot, bubbly water. It feels really great." 

"I'll bet. I bet you feel really great, too. Close your eyes. I'm in the tub with you. I'm sitting behind you with my arms wrapped around you. I'm washing your hair. And now I am washing the rest of you, every square inch." 

Blair let out a moan. "Jim, stop, please." 

"No way; I'm not stopping now. I'm having too much fun. I'm running my hands over your chest, your stomach, and your thighs. You're hard, and I wrap my hand around your dick, and I rub slowly up and down. When I reach down with my hot, soapy fingers, you're ready for me..." 

"Jim!" Blair's breath came in small gasps. "You are a bastard, you know that. Only you could make me come over the damned phone. You have way too much control over me. This has got to change. When I get home, you are in big trouble." 

"Promise?" Jim laughed. 

"Yes, I promise, you jerk." 

"I love it when you say sweet nothings." Jim was still smiling. God, he loved Blair. More than he had ever loved another person on this entire planet. "Blair?" 

"Mmmm?" 

"You asleep?" 

"Almost." 

"Don't drown, you hairy-chested moron. I would be really pissed." 

"You know, Jim, you have a really sweet way about you, too. I miss you. See you tomorrow." 

"I miss you too, Blair." 

* * *

Day One-- Finally 

Blair walked through the door of the loft, and dropped his bag on the floor, grinning widely at his lover. "Man, it's great to be home. I missed it so much. It's always good to get home to you." 

Jim smiled broadly at his partner. "Blair, be quiet." Jim put one hand on the back of Blair's head, lacing his fingers through his hair, while putting his other on the small of Blair's back, pulling him close. Jim kissed him long and hard. Blair wrapped his arms around Jim's back, enjoying the warmth and strength of Jim's body. They melted into each other for many long minutes, savoring the reunion. The kiss was sweeter than each had remembered. The stuff of dreams. Blair moaned softly, and Jim pressed harder. He needed Blair close. He would have crawled inside of Blair's skin if he could. He had to settle for exploring the inside of Blair's mouth. Neither wanted the kiss to end, but Jim was overwhelmed by the sensations denied him for the past week. His control slipped, and his senses were overloading with the feel of Blair pressing against him, the touch of his lips, the sound of Blair's heartbeat, and the scent of his lover's body. 

Jim's knees started to give out as Blair sensed his zone out. Blair grabbed Jim under his arms as he slid to the floor. Blair slid with him, cradling his head until they were both on the floor. Jim's head rested in Blair's lap as he placed his hands gently on Jim's face. "Whoa, man. Jim, come on. Listen to the sound of my voice. Concentrate. Follow the sound of my voice. Come back. You can do it." He spoke firmly as he encouraged Jim to come back. Jim's eyes slowly refocused, as he reached up and ran his hand over his forehead. 

"Oh, jeez, Chief, I'm so sorry. I didn't even realize I was zoning until it was too late." 

"Jim, it's my fault. I should have known to take it easy. You always think you're indestructible. I should have realized you would be susceptible to an overload after our hiatus. I can just bet you had yourself pretty much cut off from everyone this week. Our getting back together so quickly didn't give you a chance to adjust. You'll be okay. Just take it easy for a few minutes." Blair every so lightly ran his hand over Jim's hair, smiling at him. "Close your eyes. Come on. Take even breaths." 

Jim closed his eyes and relaxed for a few minutes. When he opened them, he looked into the concerned blue eyes of his partner. "Thanks, Blair. I missed you." 

"I would have never guessed." Blair laughed softly. "I missed you too. Just what did you do this week at work?" 

Jim grinned sheepishly. "I kind of volunteered for stakeout so Rafe and Henri could have the week off." 

"Jim, you spent the whole week alone? I just knew it. No wonder your senses overloaded. Man, it's a good thing I'm back to keep an eye on you. You ready to get up?" 

"No. This is nice. I think I'll just stay here for a while." 

Blair smacked his arm. "Come on, you're putting my legs to sleep." 

Jim grinned up at Blair. "I won't move until you give me another kiss." 

Blair leaned over and kissed his forehead. Jim groaned. "I should have known better than not being more specific with you. Okay. I'm getting up." Jim got to his feet, and put his hand out to Blair. 

"Wait, my foot's asleep. Ouch! That hurts. I hate when that happens." 

Jim pulled Blair to his functioning foot; smiling at him and holding him steady with his hand on Blair's elbow. "Come on, I'll carry you." 

"No way. You're not going to drop me on my head. Stay away." Blair shoved at Jim, who reached out and grabbed Blair's arms, pinning them to his sides as Jim pulled his feet from the floor. Blair dug his fingers into Jim's sides, tickling him. Jim made it as far as the sofa before he fell over, dragging Blair down on top of him, both of them laughing themselves senseless. 

Jim looked at Blair, still laughing. "You're right. You have put on weight." 

"Thanks a lot. I'm getting fat. You don't love me any more." Blair tried to catch his breath. 

"Oh, yeah? Well, that' means there's more of you for me to love." Jim pulled up Blair's shirt and kissed his stomach. He certainly didn't look any different to Jim. He looked just as tasty as usual. 

Blair finally caught his breath. They both just looked at each other for a long minute. Jim spoke first. "Are you okay? You know, about your mother finding out about us? I've been worried that you might feel uncomfortable with her knowing." 

"Jim, I told my mother that I was in love with you, and you know what she said?" Jim shook his head. "She said, 'Does he love you?' I said, 'Yes'. Then she said, 'I like Jim.' Then she kissed me. That was our whole conversation." 

Jim smiled as he ran a strand of Blair's hair between his fingers. "I missed you." 

Blair grinned as he slid a hand behind Jim's neck. "Me, too. I missed you. Just a bit." 

They had a fabulous reunion. 

* * *

End Fragile Connections by LilyK: chakbalam@netscape.net

Author and story notes above.

  
Disclaimer: _The Sentinel_ is owned etc. by Pet Fly, Inc. These pages and the stories on them are not meant to infringe on, nor are they endorsed by, Pet Fly, Inc. and Paramount. 


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